laffytaffynoveltranslations

However, they silently placed the plates on the table and left the cabin.

“You won’t abandon me, will you, Lady Lyna?”

Magnus asked worriedly, looking at the meal in front of him. The concern on his face left me momentarily speechless.

‘Sending him back to his original place isn’t abandoning him.’

I naturally smiled, as I always did.

“Of course not.”

First, I needed to reassure Magnus.

*** *** *** *** ***

The meal ended without further conversation.

“Will you stay the night?”

“No, I have an appointment later. So, I have to leave soon.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. I will come again next week, so don’t worry.”

Seeing Magnus respond immediately to commands with a slightly open mouth, it was clear that neither the imprint of brainwashing nor the commands had been undone.

Staying with him in that state wouldn’t do any good.

‘I can’t be late.’

Moreover, something inside was signaling a red alert. I couldn’t spend more time with Magnus today.

“But it’s cold, and I can’t sleep.”

“You can cover yourself with a blanket.”

“But it’s still cold…. I’m scared alone.”

Tears fell from Magnus’s eyes.

Magnus had extreme anxiety. Illyana would regularly hold him in the cabin, sharing warmth through the night.

The description of Illyana stroking the back of Magnus’s head as he burrowed into her embrace was vivid.

Though it’s pitiful, today, the anxiety hasn’t subsided.

“I promise to stay with you until night next week.”

I spoke to Magnus, who sat on the bed, crying sadly.

Magnus looked at me with his mouth closed but didn’t respond.

“See you next week.”

At my words, Magnus reached out his arm toward me.

Magnus, who had been tensed up and moving his lips, released his arm before touching my sleeve.

His arm fell limp like a thread had snapped.

‘Ah, the guilt.’

The guilt was driving me crazy. Even though it wasn’t something I did, I kept equating myself with Illyana Glaine.

Feeling guilty meant that.

‘It’s like my body and mind are assimilating.’

It might be a baseless thought.

I let out a hollow laugh internally and turned around. Despite feeling the persistent and tenacious gaze behind me, I opened the door and left the cabin.

Outside, the mercenaries stood with silent expressions.

‘Next month, I should remove all the mercenaries guarding the door and only allow the minimum number of people necessary to monitor and take care of this place.’

I needed to prepare an escape route so that he could flee the cabin whenever he regained his senses.

Even after a year, he escaped from the mercenaries three months after receiving the book, so the chances of him escaping within a month or two were high now that he’s less addicted.

That way, I wouldn’t have to take the risk of leaving Magnus in the capital, and the likelihood of Magnus naturally meeting the heroine during the escape would increase.

‘If he escapes within a month or two, he won’t be free from drug addiction, so the heroine can help him.’

Of course, it’s all just my thoughts. There’s no guarantee it will go as planned.

The coachman, who had been waiting outside, saw me coming out of the cabin and quickly jumped down from the driver’s seat.

He’s a very perceptive coachman. It seems Illyana Glaine had a good eye for people.

“Where should I take you?”

As soon as I climbed into the carriage and sat on the seat, the coachman asked. I took out a watch from my sleeve after a brief hesitation.

The appointment with Marquis Glaine was likely at 7 PM, the dinner time at the mansion. The current time was 5 PM.

If I needed a reasonable excuse, I would need a pretext. And I had to be in the stage of being crazy about religion.

“To the temple.”

“Yes, understood.”

As soon as the coachman closed the door, the carriage started moving. I looked at the cabin getting further away with mixed feelings.

The cabin without windows made it impossible to even peek at what expression Magnus was wearing.

*** *** *** *** ***

“Why…?”

My fingertips trembled.

I tightly shut my eyes at the terrible feeling. It was a clear rejection. Until now, I had wondered how to express this slightly distanced feeling, but this was a rejection.

‘Rejection….’

I hurriedly pulled out a dictionary from the pile of books on the desk and turned the pages.

[Rejection: The act of refusing to accept, offer, gift, or request from the other party.]

I closed the book.

Why? Until now, whenever I pleaded, my master would always smile.

But today, and last time, I only felt awkward and embarrassed. As if it was something unwanted.

I slumped to the floor.

My knees naturally bent, and my hands touched the floor. This was the most comfortable position.

This was the position of a beast, the position Lady Lyna first taught me.

‘If I’m not a beast, what am I?’

The person who called me a beast now says I am not a beast. She no longer calls me a lovely beast or gently strokes my hair.

“Lady Lyna, why….”

Even if I asked what she disliked, she would only say there was nothing she disliked and she wasn’t angry.

Those words made it sound like she was going to abandon me, causing my emotions to surge uncontrollably.

Suddenly, my breathing became labored. I lifted my hand and tightly grasped the fabric near my chest.

I kept recalling Lady Lyna sitting on the bed and extending her hand. I wanted to hold her right then.

That’s what I am, isn’t it?

A beast that begs for your warmth at your feet, as you desire.

My breath quickened, then came out in rasps.

‘Is this my voice?’

Realizing it, breathing became difficult. Instinctively, I grabbed my neck with both hands.

I wanted to inhale as much air as possible.

Bang-!

The cabin door opened.

“Damn it, get the drugs. He’s having a seizure.”

“Didn’t you reduce the drug dosage this morning as the broker said?”

“I don’t know. It must’ve been insufficient. It’s not unusual for drug addicts to have seizures anytime. Just give him the drugs; he’ll be fine.”

I was roughly lifted.

“Hey, just give him a little.”

“Got it.”

The man who guarded the outside daily forced me to sit up, grabbed my hair, and pulled my head back.

Behind the man’s shoulder, I saw the vast forest I had never been outside of since coming here through blurred vision.

‘Why… can’t I leave here?’

If I went outside, I could surely kiss your foot whenever you wanted.

The man’s strength forced my mouth open.

The sweet smell tickled my nose as the pink liquid I drank every day was poured into my mouth.

I had no intention of swallowing it, but the man wouldn’t let go unless I did, so I reflexively gulped it down.

Only then did the hand gripping my hair let go.

“Ha… ha….”

Breathing was still hard, but it gradually became easier.

They exchanged some words and went back outside. The door to the forest closed.

“Lady Lyna, Lady Lyna….”

Remnants of my past training floated before my eyes. Faceless figures kicked and punched my body.

A sensation of an invisible force striking my brain tightened around my neck.

After this unbearable, intangible violence and falling asleep, nightmares would come, and in the nightmares, I would be abandoned again and again.

I had to beg and beg until Lady Lyna forgave me.

But now, Lady Lyna is not here. I have to endure this torment and pain alone in the darkness again tonight.

Knowing that nightmares would come on nights like this, my body reflexively started trembling.

“Lady Lyna….”

Why don’t you look at your beast? The resentment kept piling up.

My vision grew blurrier. The focus disappeared. In that blurred vision, a strange silhouette suddenly appeared.

Three young men stood there. They wore luxurious clothes, and behind them, I saw a familiar building of elegant architecture.

‘Who are they?’

Even as I gasped for breath, useless thoughts crossed my mind. When will this pain end…?

Rolling on the rug-covered floor, I reached out and tightly gripped the rug. The soft rug was crumpled in my hands.

‘Hey, puppy. We’re going hunting in the forest over there today. If you catch a good prey, we’ll acknowledge you as our little brother.’

‘Really, brother?’

‘Ah, of course. But it depends on how you do. You have to listen to us, okay?’

‘Yes! Brother!’

It was a voice I had heard somewhere before. A strange voice that was unpleasant and made me angry just by hearing it.

But I couldn’t remember who it was.

The scene shifted through the fog. I blinked my eyes while breathing roughly. Two of the three people were driving someone to the edge of a cliff.

My stomach churned.

‘You’re too much of a hindrance.’

‘Live well, Magnus. Although you’ll probably become beast food first. Hahaha!’

‘Brothers, please, please save me. Don’t leave me alone…’

It was the same scene again.

A strange situation that I dreamed about one out of ten times.

I would cry out, and someone would leave me. I would always cry sadly. They would turn their backs with faces full of joy.

“Lady Lyna, Lady Lyna….”

The voice that came out with sobs was unfamiliar yet familiar. I was her beast. I was her beast alone.

Episode 9 – Episode 11